Thursday, April 13, 2006


hellos .
feeling confused now ..
i dunno wad to do .
suddenly , 1 wk ago ..
as i walked down the lonely path ,
i thought of many things
dat happened in the past .
i feel that i'm lyk so bad .
why the world has such a bad person like mi ..
i ignored many ppl .
i made the wrong choices .
and left people thinking of a bad impression on mi .
i must have been a very bad person in their hearts . =X
i dunno las ..
maybe they nvr put it to heart ; or maybe they did .
but to me , i'm bad .
i didnt notice that i've ever done such a ting before ;
really i didnt ..
until now .
i cudnt believe i've ever done such a bad thing too .
if the person is me ,
i wud probably hate this person to the core norhs . =X
( oh okaes~ ishh not dat kua zhang las .. the thing oso .
just a small matter .. but it can make mi feel bad fer the rest of my lyfe ,
which is enough . )
i dunno how they feel at that time .
i just wanna apologise .
really i'm sorry .
wo bu shi gu yi de ;
zhen de .
please forgive me .
bud i noe dat eu will never know ..
the two things ; only two , diff ones ;
that cann make me regret for the rest of my life .
i tried to amend it .
but i dont fink i have the chance anymore .
it's all my fault .
i hate myself so much .
when i tot of those things .. ugh .
god gave me many chances .
really alot .
but i missed it all ..
thinking that there will always be a next time .
but no .. how i hoped now that time could ever turn back .
but i know it wont .
the same thing wont happen agn .
it never will .
and i dont know how to amend it too .
i could only feel sorry .
no matter how much sorriies i say
in my heart ;
i know that they'll never know .
now then i realised ;
i've taken everything for granted .
i've got lots n lots of chances .
yet i missed it all .
thinking that
after i slept and woke up the next morning ..
eberytyng has never happened before .
when i know it had ..
but what can i do at that time .
eberytyng had already happened .
what can i do .
time can never reverse itself . =(
i could only say in my heart ;
"sorry" .
haiis~ i dunno wad to do .
can someone tell me ..
at 1st i kept telling myself ;
to leave everyting to fate .
if it is meant to be ; it will .
but now i found out that ..
everyone has to make his own move first .
we cannot leave it to fate oways .
den no one will ever work hard towards their goal ..
c0s if it's fate , if you're meant to be the first ; you will .
but i'm wrong ;
totally wrong .
we had to work hard towards our goal .
LIFE'S TOO SHORT TO MOPE AROUND .
haiis . we must do it when we can .
and not wait until you cant ..
but it's too contradicting .
so contradicting that ii really dont know
how to make a choice .
the perfect choice .
that i'll never regret .
i noe dat i sud follow my heart .
and eberytyng will not go wrong ..
but i'm one hu goes the safest way .
i will preferr not to do it
if i noe it gotta be a bad ending .
but thinking now ;
how do you know ..
if you've never tried before .
thus ; i've chosen .
to let heaven choose .
i flipped a coin ..
althoughh how much i hoped that it can be a good one .
but it's not .
i tried to lie to myself .
and tried three time ..
but all are negative answers .
therefore , i decided to go with it .
and chose not to do anything .
but i really have the urge to do it .
but i'm scared .
i dunno how my lyfe can change
by this very action .
to the good , or to the bad .
but i really dun wann to regret for the rest of my lyfe .
life's really too short to be wasted like this .
i fink i'll considerr 1st ba .
haiis~


i hate my indecisiveness .